What the hell is in my chocolate?

In the ‘Did we need a survey for this’ department, fast food chains in the regions where marijuana is legalized have enjoyed a spike in sales according to Green Market Report and Consumer Research Around Cannabis.

Cannabis is known for its appetite inducing side effect which is one of its most beneficial qualities for those suffering from diseases that hinder appetite or take medicine that makes it difficult to eat. It also enhances your appreciation of average rock bands, shitty pizza and ninja movies.

Is this startling news or have we known about this phenomena since hominids generally utilized fire 300,000 years ago and some cannabis fell into that fire. It took another 295,000 years to develop writing so we could document that experience. Up to that point there was a lot on nodding and smiling around the evening fire. It was a rough time because there were no Seven Elevens and the Banana Moon Pie™ had not been thought of.

So the chocolate ‘munchies’ have been with us for a long time, probably at the very top of the munchy food pyramid as it should be.

Yes, they’re really called ‘Munchies’

We do eat a lot of chocolate. According to one trade magazine we eat about 9.5 pounds every year.  The average person in Switzerland eats 19.8 pounds annually. We’ve never actually met a Swiss person and thereby cannot verify this fact personally. We do, however have a suspicion about England with its bad teeth and love of chocolate. (Someone should do that study)

I’m now going to espouse a theory on the decline of our collective health due to chocolate consumption. Oh, I know the linkage between dark chocolate and heart health has emboldened the choco-holic to new heights of gastronomic excess but there’s a caveat.

A California consumer health watchdog group has filed legal notices demanding that many of the big chocolate companies post warnings on their packages that show their products contain high levels of lead and cadmium.

As You Sow, an Oakland nonprofit, says single servings of 26 products it tested contain more of the two harmful heavy metals than allowed under California law which includes many of the big name chocolate producers.

The problem with those toxic heavy metals is they accumulate in the body. Chocolate eaters, do you feel a little heavier at times? It may not be those sweet treats after taking a toke or two.


Leave your comment