An open letter to North Korea

Hello to all the people in North Korea who are not serving in your armed forces; a total of 37 families in the mountains that cannot be reached by mule.

Let’s get away from the distraction called ‘kneeling’ for a moment and talk about the biggest threat to people everywhere; the fact that Amazon is slowly taking over the world and just like when Joe Pesci’s character Tommy DeVito in Goodfellas was whacked, “there’s nothing anyone can do about it”. Our leaders are relating to each other like brats who have their itchy fingers on a nuclear option. It’s a lot worse than a spoiled rich player leaving a game with the only ball. And speaking of balls, we hope to open a diplomatic channel and send Dennis Rodman over there with a team of agents disguised as basketball players.

Dennis Rodman and Kim Jong Un

I think we’re on the same page. Try to not listen to what they are saying about each other. This is how they get their exercise. We each have a leader that would get winded after bowling one frame. Now twitter wants to expand to 280 characters. This will keep ours busy all night. Oh, the venom!  I’d explain to you what Twitter is, but you don’t even have enough power to toast a slice of bread, if you had the bread.

As people, there are societal differences between us. We can occasionally get a McRib when we’re stoned and all you have are stones and bare ribs. Speaking of stones, yes Keith Richards, who you may have heard about in 1964, is still alive. He looks like your grandmother.

You can’t really express how you feel, because you’d get killed, and if we express ourselves there’s a shit-storm of Tweets. Let me explain the ‘little rocket man’ remark. He probably forgot Kim Jong Un’s name. He puts down what he can’t articulate in a meaningful way unless it’s about himself. He said this about Puerto Rico; “The response and recovery effort probably has never been seen for something like this. This is an island surrounded by water. Big water. Ocean water.”  Yeah, I know, ‘Big water’.

You’ve got your problems with a person who feels that his every utterance is ‘law’. Sorry, but, “there’s nothing anyone can do about it”. At least ours will be gone in a few years.

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